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A reflection of my inner journey towards ...

enerflowhealing
Amelie St-Pierre

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A reflection of my inner journey towards trust


This is a raw, honest and vulnerable piece I want to share with you because we are all on a journey. We are, most of the time, not that far from each other as we might believe. I did not enter a lot of the details, but I hope you can grasp the big picture of this reflection.

Please, do not associate God here as anything religious or dogmatic. Change the name for what has meaning to you, be it Goddess, Source, Universe, etc.

First I have to say, as much as I believe in a higher force, it's still hard for me to truly grasp that God is all loving (not the fearsome God of my childhood). I was brought up Catholic, swerved Christian for a while, but I just couldn't align some of the church teachings with what I thought was right. Hence, I now believe I'm on a spiritual journey of my own.

I've had quite a few experiences I could qualify as miraculous. Experiences that confirmed me that when I listen to the little voice that pushes me in a certain direction, things just easily fall into place.

Those times were undeniably the work of an unseen force, of something bigger and all knowing of the possibilities I could not have even taken into consideration. These were times when I needed God, sometimes more than others and he/she/it was there.

But even with those personal miraculous experience I was/I am so afraid to totally let my life in the hands of God. To say I am willing to relinquish the rein and to do what might be asked of me... I have to admit, as much as I believe in a (higher intelligence, God, the Source of the Universe) I was scared to death to 'trust'. I was (I am still sometimes) scared I might lose a limb, be on the street picking penny's or be single the rest of my life if I 'let go'.

Which is stupid because up until now God had only been sending blessings my way, sometimes giving me more than what I had asked for. I have also always found the courage and the strength to go through the tribulations of my life up until now. So God was really generous, all loving and a rock of strength to hold on to.

So there, I finally said it out loud, said what I was afraid of. But at the same time realizing it might still be better to trust my life in God's hands. I was going to have to let go and trust. I knew this would come with its trials, but isn't it the purpose of life? To learn and grow?

And with that, this also means I might have to step up my game. Be a bigger person than who I am right now, be the person I'm suppose to be to live my purpose. Which is another form of scary as it comes with a load of responsibilities (this is another reflection of its own!) ...

Here are my personal lessons from this short but honest and raw reflection of my journey :


  • No favor/prayer/request is too small

  • Don't think small, you might get more than you asked for

  • Change your perspective of tribulations

  • Know that trusting is a journey and it's ok to feel like giving up

  • Giving up might be the beginning of trusting

  • Every day is a new day

  • God wants me to be happy

  • I need to be happy no matter what

  • When things go wrong, look for what might be going right

  • Be kind to yourself

  • Be kind to yourself

  • Be kind to yourself

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