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Achieving those New Year's resolutions at last ...

Amelie St-Pierre

Achieving those New Year's resolutions at last

Step 2 - The mental game of success

Do you have New Year's resolutions and goals, but don't quite feel up to the challenge? When you fail to succeed in reaching our goals a few times, do you get discourage and give up trying?

How many times have you tried to change something only to fail? when in the process do you stop trying?

Do you feel like continuing the way you always have is good enough? Are you scared to tell your loved ones again that you just couldn't do it or couldn't change. Failing then *seems* to be harder than keeping that unhealthy habit or that destructive pattern.

Have you just kept on doing what you are doing because you don't want to fail again and disappoint anyone, knowing very well that keeping it up will fail you eventually?

Changing your negative self-talk

When attempting to change something or reach for something that is out of your comfort zone, you might run into obstacles. You will also have a period of adjustment and of trials and errors. These are normal and to be expected. You can't grow a muscle by exercising with the same small weight.

The most important thing though, is to not let your mind, bring up the old story that you just can't do it... We all have this little annoying voice that reminds us of our limitations when we try to do things differently. It's normal, you are not alone!

If you let that scared voice win over you, you will just reinforce its power and it will win the battle. Changing a habit is half mental and half action. Nobody ever gets rid of that little voice, it's something you need to live with and RECOGNIZE. If you can stop it dead in it's track, you will have huge success with what you want to achieve.

Changing perception of failure

As you try something new, you expend, you grow, you break free. Yes, there might be times when you fail the ultimate goal you had set, but you haven’t failed. You might not see the result you had wished for, but you might be blind to the growth you have gained while you tried.

So maybe, the problem is not in setting your goals, maybe its in changing your perception of success. Maybe it’s in being flexible with the result you wish to achieve. Maybe it’s in not giving up so early or quickly. Maybe it’s in chewing smaller bites.

If you saw every attempt like a success, like a step further along the way, then you will feel like everything you do along the way is important. The most important step then become the commitment you take everyday to achieve your goals.

Changing perception of time

If you view setting intentions and working toward a goal a waste of time, think again. It is never to late to start in a new direction, because the skills you will gain will help you in multiple ways.

If you are working toward a goal that will give you better and faster skills it will pay off in the end. That can be going back to school or learning a new language.

If you want to quit a habit but feel it's time consumming have a different look at it. Will you gain more in the end than the effort you put in?

Just think about it. Let's say your goal is about eating better. Right now you eat food that doesn't take a lot of time to cook but is overly processed. So changing to a diet that requires a little bit more prep looks like it would be time consumming, but what are the effects on your body? Do you think the way you eat right now affects your energy level? Your weight? Your cholesterol and general health? What will happen over time if you keep eating this way? Do you think you will be more prone to get sick? Do you think it will affect your relationship with your spouse?

Like the ripples from a small stone dropped in water, so are all the little things that doesn't serve your wellbeing.

Do what works for YOU

What if you changed the way you set your New Year's resolutions so it's easier to do it? Have a honest review of your life and challenge yourself to something that works for YOU. Something that isn’t bound by research or by what everybody else is doing. Just do something that expands your comfort zone without stretching it so much that it becomes undoable.

It's easy to be too hard on yourself and not realize it. Figuratively speaking, do you ask yourself to run a marathon even though you never jogged before? Running a marathon is doable, but probably more to someone who already jogs a few times a week. How can you setup your life so running once or twice a week to start is doable? How can you continually attain little goals so you can set bigger goals and feel empowered and not discouraged?

My personal story : For so long, I have been beating myself up for not being a morning person. In my mind and from a lot of books I've read, successful people get up really early. I have tried time and again but kept giving up. I just couldn't get up at 5am...

It took me a while to look at my life and realize that my most productive work happens in the evening and so by working in the evening and going to bed later, I just couldn't get up at 5am. One day, I decided that this idea was great for some people but it just wasn't working for me. I decided to review when I had the most energy during the day and what kind of routine was working best for me. I then identified where were my strengths and how I could setup my life in order to achieve success in a way that works for me.

Sometimes it's not about the goal but about setting the best environment so you can achieve success. You have to do what works for you!

Questions to contemplate

Do you need to change some of your perceptions?

Where are you truly right now in the area of your life you want to change? What are the SMALL changes you could make that would help you progress?

What kind of environment you need to achieve the success you desire?

Please share your thoughts, what works for you, and your tips to achieve success with you New Year's resolutions.


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